The Proposal
by Lythande1972
Summary: What if Harm's proposal in Fair Winds and Following Seas had been a little more formal, and romantic?


Harm had 24 hours.

He couldn't believe that his whole life had come down to this moment, but it had. Clearly deadlines are good for me, he thought ruefully. Harmon Rabb Jr., you are an idiot.

But you've got one last chance to get this right.

So, how to do it?

He knew he needed to be direct. Clear. Honest. He needed to not to let anything stop him: not propriety, or fear, or her pride. Or his.

He prayed he wasn't too late. He prayed he wasn't wrong about he feelings for him. And he prayed she'd let him do this, headstrong and crazy as she was.

He crossed his fingers. He picked up the phone and made reservations at a restaurant with a lovely view. And then he picked up a pen, and began to write a letter.

An hour later he looked up.

Stepping out of his office, he stopped to watch her. She was packing her office up for the last time.

He felt so stupidly in love with her. What fools they'd both been.

He took a deep breath, walked over, and knocked on her door.

"Hey!" he said.

She looked up, seemingly coming back from somewhere far away. She smiled faintly at him. "Hey."

"You almost done?"

"Yep," she sighed. "Kind of amazing."

He stood there, feeling dumb. Why couldn't he think of any small talk? Crud.

Finally, he cleared his throat. Trying to sound lighthearted and friendly, he blurted out, "Hey, listen. I know it's your last night, but I really, really want to take you out to dinner. Would you please let me?"

He was rewarded with a surprisingly brilliant smile for how tired he knew she was.

"Harm, that's really sweet of you. Honestly, I'd be delighted. What time? Where do you want to meet?"

She'd accepted! She didn't already have plans! She didn't say she needed to pack! Or wash her hair! He felt buoyant. "Can I pick you up at 7:30? And I'm going to take you somewhere nice, so you can dress up if you want."

She gave him her bemused face. "Um, ok. Great. I look forward to it."

He staggered out of her office and barely made it back to his, his knees shaking. He didn't see the knowing glances exchanged among the staff behind him...

Dinner was lovely. He'd never thought she looked more beautiful. They laughed and had a wonderful time. Things felt so easy.

Every once in awhile he thought about the letter and the ring in his pocket, and it would take an effort for him to drag himself back to the present.

After dinner, he coaxed her out for a walk on the river. After just a few minutes of small talk, they stopped where they could lean on a guardrail and look at the view.

Ok, he thought. Here goes nothing, and everything. Dad, watch over me here, huh?

Out loud he said, "Mac."

She turned her head. "Yeah?"

"Um...Mac, I, um..." he struggled to find his courage..."I wrote you a letter.

"Will you...will you please let me read it to you?" He paused. "Um...consider it my closing remarks," he added, trying to make her laugh. His palms were soaked with sweat.

She didn't know what to say. She stared at him. She was confused, flattered, scared - no, _terrified_ - defensive, curious, all at once. A letter?

She almost made fun of him, but...stopped herself in time. A tiny hope flared up inside of her.

Very quietly, in a voice that maybe he could even hear shaking a little..."I'd be honored to hear it, sailor."

It was Harm's turn to look surprised. He fumbled as he pulled the letter out of his pocket. He took a shaky breath, and then he dove in, not looking at her.

"Dear Mac,

"It's been a long ten years. We've had some crazy adventures."

He looked up at her with a rueful smile, which, after a second, she returned. Then he went on.

"We've fought hundreds of battles, in and out of the courtroom. We've traveled around the world. We've also shared things most colleagues don't, like being shot at, crashing planes, and avoiding land mines in the Middle East. You've ..." His voice cracked a little. "...saved my life. I've saved yours."

"Harm?" She asked. "I...?"

"Please," he said. "I know this is crazy. But please let me finish."

She stopped, and set her mouth. "Ok. I will," she said. "I promise."

He took another deep breath. Here goes... "I'm not sure when I realized how important you are to me."

He heard her suck in her breath.

"Maybe it was when you made it clear to me that you were interested in me, and I was too scared to do anything until it was too late. Maybe it was when the thought of you was all that kept me alive in the ocean. Maybe it was the horrible minute that they told me you wrapped your car around that tree last Christmas. Maybe it was when I realized that every woman I've dated for the past ten years has really...just been an attempt to forget about you."

He stopped to look up at her. She was looking away from him, with a sad, scared expression on her face. She was breathing fast. His heart pounded as he wondered what she was thinking. But dammit - ten years - he _knew_ she loved him. She might not choose to be with him, but he was going to give them both that chance.

He took another shaky breath and plunged forward.

"Mac, if I've managed to make it his far through this note and we haven't been interrupted by Webb, or shellfire, or a baby being unexpectedly born," - he looked up again, and was rewarded with her smile at his joke - "well, then it's time to say it.

"I love you, Sarah Mackenzie. I've loved you since the day I met you and I'm so, so sorry that it's taken me so long to tell you.

"I love you, and if you love me too, I'd like to ask you tonight to...to..."

He looked up at her, and then ...

He got down on one knee.

That's when she lost it. He heard her sob, and hoped it was for joy.

"Harm!" She whispered. But she didn't run. Thank god, she didn't run. She didn't tell him to stop. She stood there, looking down at him, tears running down her cheeks. He screwed up his courage, put down the letter, and took out the velvet box that was in his jacket pocket. He opened it, and held it in front of her.

"Sarah Mackenzie, you are the love of my life." His voice broke and he found he had tears in his eyes, too. Dammit! "I've been a total idiot, but I think I've finally come to my senses. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

"Would you please...be my wife?"

She was crying so hard she couldn't answer. Instead she just grabbed him and kissed him. When they broke to take a breath, he heard her say, "yes. Yes. Yes, Harm!"

And all was right with the world.

San Diego, London, whatever...they'd work it out. He had his marine; his Sarah. And it turned out she was all he'd ever wanted.


End file.
